This intercultural incident happened during my summer program in Korea. Although no conflicts happened, we were ashamed of our actions.
To most of the NUS students, it is a norm to place our bags unattended on our seats in the canteen while ordering food. It served to give us an assurance that we have seats after we buy our food. While in one of the university’s canteen in Korea, we did the same thing. However, when we were queuing for food, we felt that something was amiss as some of the Korean students gave us weird stares. Few moments later, it finally dawned on me that everybody had their bags with them while queuing for food! What made it worse was that there were students with food standing around waiting for seats in the canteen while our bags were happily seated on the chairs. After we got our food, we went back to our seats, ate quickly and left the canteen feeling guilt-stricken. It was one of the worst meals I had in my life.
Frankly, I think we should have paid more attention to our surroundings before we acted. We should not have assumed that what is the norm in NUS is applicable to everywhere else. I felt that the Korean students understood that we were new exchange students, as things could have turned out ugly if they decided to throw our bags aside and sat on our seats.
This incident had made me realize that the Koreans are more of a “we” culture as by not placing their bags on the chairs, more students will get to utilize the chairs. Overall, the “efficiency” of the chairs would increase as it can serve more diners at a given period of time. Singaporeans on the other hand are more of an “I” culture as we deny others of a chance to utilize our chairs when we are queuing for food by placing our bags on the chairs. Although the “efficiency” of the chairs would decrease, being selfish creatures, we are guaranteed a seat after we buy our food. This difference in culture is also seen in trains in both Korea and Singapore. In Korea, commuters would automatically move to the center of the carriages allowing more commuters on board. While in Singapore, commuters tend to cluster near the doors of the carriages, denying others the chance to board the train.
I feel that Singaporeans have much to learn from the Koreans with regards to this aspect of their culture.
Edited: 21 Feb 2010, 1956h
Dear Kunlin,
ReplyDeleteI can't agree more with the korean culture you've enacted in your blog post! You know, just a few days ago I came across a sort of similar incident with Japanese/Koreans. I was taking the NEL train to meet up a friend at Chinatown then. The cabin where I was in was packed with people but there was an empty seat which happened to be the priority seat just next to the train door. And two Japanese woman were standing just in front of the seat. As I observed, I saw that one of them asked the other to take the seat..but the other woman kindly rejected her friend as she pointed to the priority signage on top.
Singaporeans, albeit not all, would have quickly taken the seat whether or not it has the priority sign on top. We really have much to learn from the Japanese and Koreans; they are indeed generally more giving than Singaporeans.
Having said that, I have some suggestions for you on how you could better improve this post.
1. In the second paragraph you wrote: "I think to most of the NUS students, it is the norm to place our bags unattended on our seats in the canteen while ordering food. It served to give us an assurance that we have seats after we buy our food." I thought you could do away with the 'I think'. 'it is a norm' would also sound better than 'it is the norm' because that isn't the only norm.
2. In the same paragraph, you wrote: "After we got our food, we went back to our seats with guilt, quickly ate and left the canteen as soon as possible." I thought the 'quickly ate' and 'left canteen' was referred to the same way as 'guilt'. Meaning, I thought you meant "we went back to our seats with guilt, with quickly ate and with left the canteen" which does not sound coherent. You might wish to phrase it this way: "After we returned to our seats with food, we ate quickly and left the canteen feeling guilt-stricken."
3. In your last paragraph you wrote: "I feel that Singaporeans has much to learn from the Koreans regarding this aspect of their culture." I thought it would be more appropriate to phrase it this way: "I feel that Singaporeans have much to learn from the Koreans with regards to dining culture."
Just my five-cents worth. Anyway, I still like your post. I thought the main gist was clear and the incident was well enacted.
Hi Kunlin,
ReplyDeleteI think you have indeed hit the nail on the head when you mentioned that Singaporeans tend to have a self-centred mentality. Personally, I do feel upset too when I find bags and tissue papers occupying seats while I am holding my food tray and desperately looking for a place in the canteen. Of course, that has changed - I refuse to eat during the "normal" hours and would order takeaway if I had to eat during those times.
I am glad to hear that the incident you were in did not result in a conflict. However, it does brings to my mind that we all ought to keep our eyes open and pay extra attention to nuances of the local customs while overseas.
I too hope that the Singapore society would eventually evolve to become more gracious and less self-centred as Korea, but knowing the local environment, I expect that it would take a lot of campaigning, public education and fines to make that happen.
Dear Kun Lin,
ReplyDeleteThat was a well described situation which is also easy to relate to. It was a nice learning about Korean culture for me. Thank you!
I do feel you have been rather hard on Singaporeans, as a group, in general and while, a lot of what you have said is probably true, I would be careful to describe it as such in a professional setting. A bit of tact can help matters a great deal.
On a different note, I admire the impartial assessment of your own behavior and culture.
Cheers
Rohan
Hi Kunlin
ReplyDeleteI also can't help but to agree with the opinion that Singaporeans are indeed self-centered. I totally hate it when commuters flood the doorways of Mrt trains desperately waiting to get in while I have to squeeze my way out.
Yes I think that Singaporeans have much to learn from our other Asian counterparts (Korea, Japan, Taiwan) in this aspect.
It is good that interaction with people of other cultures while being overseas help improve cultural awareness but sadly, in this case, you had to learn it the hard way.
Hello Kun Lin!
ReplyDeleteI couldn’t agree more with Singaporeans placing too much emphasis on “I” rather than “we”.
I get really annoyed when I am at the
canteen or at a hawker centre or at a food court and I see packets of tissue paper on the table occupying the table. Sometimes, I am tempted to just chuck those tissue packets away. But no, I never had the guts to do so. I can imagine how that scenario would go.
Tissue paper owner: “Hey that is my table!”
Me: “Who said so? I saw an empty table so I took it.”
Tissue paper owner: “But my tissue paper was on the table top.”
Me: “Did it have your name on it?”
It also annoys me when on the bus or the train and people refuse to move to the rear of the bus or to the middle of the carriage. I remember once I was on the bus and a lot of people were crowded at the exit. The bus driver shouted to the people, “Move back please! There is no ghosts haunting back there!”
My point being, if everyone were to be more considerate towards others, it would make our society a better place.
I do like your personal reflection on the incident! Well done!
~nicole
Hello Kun Lin,
ReplyDeleteI suppose this is our modern 'survival of the fittest'. It can be argued we are having this attitude to ensure we are one step ahead in modern sense, or we could say our culture hasn't gone through enough selection pressure.
Being a young nation, hardships, though significant, were only experienced by the forefathers of Singapore. Our generation is probably more concerned with clinching the best for ourselves, not as a collective sense, but an individual sense. Perhaps it is the lack of understanding of cooperation, through hardships, that makes us "fight for survival" in pockets, rather than as a people. In short, we are not having that one for all and all for one mindset.
Regards,
Kian Leong
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteHello Kunlin,
ReplyDeleteI agree with you that we have much more to learn from others' cultural values.
Unfortunately, Singaporeans, which includes ourselves,tend to develop the 'Kiasu' attitude. In fact, it has became one of our culture norms which we should not be proud of. I have witnessed many times, be it in school or in eating outlets, when the seats were 'choped' by packets of tissue paper during peak hours! Such selfish and uncourteous behaviour can be quite disheartening.
I feel that by interacting with people from different cultures, we can better understand their specific concepts in perception, thinking, feeling and acting. This not only allow us to achieve better intercultural communication, but also allow us to do some self reflection of our own behaviour at times.
I have observed many incidents where Singaporeans reserve seats with packets of tissue as well, especially at eating places frequented by the white collar working class people. I agree this type of behaviour is selfish and sadly prevalent in Singapore. In fact, even on buses, people place bags on the seat next to them instead of giving them up for other passengers. I suppose the apathy shown by Singaporeans does not help matters. It will take time and education before we might change to a more gracious society.
ReplyDeleteI would like to say a big thank you to all your comments for this post! Especially to Diana who have always helped me with my english.
ReplyDeleteMany of you mentioned about educating the public. I agree wholeheartedly with all of you regarding this point. However, more stress has to be placed on educating the young minds too. I guess that is something Diana can contribute in the future!
Interesting learning experience, Kun Lin! And yours is a very clear, concise and complete telling of the story/observation. Plus, look at all the fine feedback you have garnered.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing it with us!